Last Friday night was decidedly a laid back one for us. We were planning on seeing the movie Underworld : Evolution but it was snowing so hard and the drive was so painstakingly slow that we decided to turn back around as we would have missed the first 15 minutes of the show. Surprisingly, Kenny was quite willing to view the obviously chick flick DVD of Must Love Dogs with me. Maybe because John Cusack was in it. Anyway, the movie was essentially about a woman's journey through the dating scene after her divorce and how she found love on the internet.

Now, after reading a post from Jenny's blog site about Fil-West coupling and long-distance relationship, I got motivated to research and dedicate an entry on both subjects as they undeniably are getting to be common in the global cyber-dating world. I, myself, met my husband on the internet and I have known a lot of people who nurtured a relationship from a distance and are somehow thriving and successful. In the spirit of the fast approaching Valentine's Day, here is something about the new meet market.

If you've ever looked for love on the Web, you already know that the key to online dating success is an excellent profile -- one that presents you in your best light while giving would-be suitors a glimpse of what it'll take to win your heart. Easier said than done. Most folks have a large blind spot when it comes to writing about themselves honestly, objectively and eloquently. Not only that, but very often the most articulate online daters write whatever comes out of their hearts without thinking of the effect their words are going to have on the reader. What works for one person does not necessarily work for everybody, but the general principles remain the same.

Use specifics. Be sincere and honest. Write like you talk. Show your personality. If you make jokes, make them tasteful, self-deprecating or sarcastic, and do so with caution. Figure out what makes you different from everyone else, and use it to your advantage. Again, stay away from generic adjectives and focus more on proper nouns and stories. If you're going to be wordy, have something interesting to say. Stay consistently positive and confident without seeming annoying and arrogant. Be proud of who you are and wear it confidently in your language and tone. Don't give anyone a reason to say no to you. No red flags, no obvious baggage, no glaring insecurities, no diatribes about past relationships, no spelling mistakes, no superficial wish list about money or looks. You should have fun writing your profile. If you have fun writing it, the reader will likely have fun reading it.

The Internet dating stigma no longer exists, and it's about time. But just because looking for love online is more mainstream, that doesn't mean you should let your guard down completely. After all, it may be easier to meet that special someone ‑- but it's also easier to be deceived by someone else's special someone masquerading as a bachelor. How can you avoid falling for a married man's cyber line? And what are the warning signs that the guy on the other end of the cute emails is otherwise engaged?

Clear-Cut Clues before You Meet

His profile is photo free. Yes, this might simply mean that he's camera shy. But then again, he may be hiding something. What married man wants his picture accessible to tons of people, some of whom might know his wife?

He lists his marital status as "separated." He might say the marriage was over. It could turn out, not only is he still living in the same house as his wife, they are sleeping in the same bed!

His home phone number is privileged information. Once you've spoken, he should be comfortable handing out those seven digits. If he's not, proceed at your own risk.

He's in no rush to meet ‑- or he can't wait to meet. Some married guys want to continue their online flirtation forever because that way they feel that technically they're not cheating. Other married guys want to make an immediate date because they're only interested in a fling.

Warning Signs Once You've Met

Sex is his primary interest. If he brings it up early in the first phone conversation or on the first date, there could be a reason for that.

You're not invited into his home or into his life. Watch out if you don't get to meet his family and friends and he's very secretive about them. Also, be careful if his place is off-limits or he's only available at odd times. Come right out and ask if he's married. If he's lying, he'll probably do one of the following: beat around the bush, hesitate, break eye contact or touch his nose or earlobe before answering.

Your Best Bets for Internet Dating Success

Word your profile meticulously. Don't be too provocative or suggestive. That can attract the wrong people. Make it clear that honesty and integrity are your hallmarks. You still might hear from a few married men, but don't let this shake you. Good guys are out there.

Cut your losses. There is no way to initially tell for sure that someone who seems like the catch of a lifetime is actually withholding important information. Weed out the undesirable dates as quickly as possible by being a 'conscious' online dater. This means doing some detective work. Ask where he went to school, where he works, what he does weekends and at night, and see if the answers sound like a single guy's answers. Trust your instincts.

Be positive.  If you focus on 'all I get are the married liars,' guess who will keep coming your way? Focus on attracting men of integrity. Let go of your resentment toward the losers. They're just stepping stones to your ideal mate.

To my fellow bloggers who have been there, done that and have dabbled in online dating, would you care to share your experiences? I'm sure you have some funny, horror and success stories. Next post would be about the secrets of long-distance relationship.

This is a very interesting post, I enjoyed reading it . As for myself, I didn't meet my husband on the internet but I bet, it would have so much easier and fun if we did . Going by my sister's experience connecting with men of the same interest, well, often times they just want to play with her. They're not serious at all, it seems like the internet is their playground . It is very true that people can say anything and prentend, that's the downside of online dating . These are helpful tips you have here thanks for sharing.

yeah, i would have to agree...this is an interesting post. i,myself, is not into finding love over the internet...maybe because i was scared that things might not go as i expect it to be. im quite paranoid when it comes to meeting some guy over the internet...yeah, because everybody could just fabricate stories just make them look interesting. i met my boyfriend because of common friends, which is the usual case here in manila, right? :) i would have to say that you have been so brave and so lucky that you found "the one" over the net...:)

Hi Rose,
What an interesting post here, i should have read this long time ago so i saved myself from online dating mishap hehhehehe. To share my experience, i have been "burned" actually 2x na, it was so sad to even share the details of it. I know in my heart i have not that anything wrong, pero ayon with my plain ignorance or stupidity siguro, i fell in love so hard pero in the end it just broke my heart. Hay naku kulang ang spaces dito to really tell what happened. All i know is that they cheated on me and lied. The other guy , i later found out na con-artist talaga, ang galing mambola at magtago, i sensed lots of red flags non pero i played blind (in love eh) pero in the end na hurt pa rin ako. Oh well pero now i come to realize na they are not worthy of my love, my faithfullness at lahat lahat na. I have learned so much from those experience and i hope i am smarter now the 3rd time around. I don't lose hope naman, i know there is someone out there who is right and meant for me. Kaya nga like i said, i admire those people who met their love online (like my sister)and then they finally ended up tog. I'll be lookin forward to your next post about secret of long distance relationship, im in that situation na eh, so im pretty excited to read it soon. Thanks Rose.

I definitely agree that the internet made the world a little bit smaller. Although my husband & I didn't meet through the internet, we survived being apart for a year & half with the help of emails, ICQ & the occasional phonecalls. Without the internet, we probably wouldn't have survived the one best thing that ever happened to us. All our emails for more than a year are now well kept in a nice big box in my room back home. Great post, Rose!

waaa... ka valentines na ba diri a.... I love the floating hearts. eyyy Rose, nice entry. speaking of online dating, Im not really into chatting. Kapoy tapos kalas kwarta... wala pa gyud kay maani. lol
Pero there are time na someone wrote you tapos akala mo sya na pero hindi pa pala, yun ang masakit especially na may high expectations ka sa tao pero in return nag mukhang tanga ka. :-? Pero I always believe na if the Lord wants you to put something down, it is so you can pick up something bigger, something better than once you had before because He knows what's best for you.
Basta mabait ka lang may awa talaga si Papa Jesus sa 'yo. Im blessed to have my Dan and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Hi Rose... or should i say Ate Rose.. Thanks for droppin by my journal and left me advice.

I remember 2 years ago I had an online affair from someone in NJ, USA. I met him at one of the Yahoo! chatrooms. At first, I considered it as a game but it as time passed by the relationship became serious. It did well for some time but I found out that he hide a lot from me. He lied to me... and what's heartbreaking: I found out he got a live-in partner there. That was the last time i had an affair thru the Internet. Haven't tried one after that incident.

Have you still not won JOTW? That's very surprising! Thanks for the advice you left on my journal. I'll definately keep that in mind!

Ana P.S.
Thanks for sharing your sister's experience. It's a testimony that one has to be very savvy and smart when it comes to cyber-dating as there are predators out there as much as there are Filipina scammers too. It's great that both of you found your husbands from the other side of the world.

Marge,
You're lucky to find one of the real good Filipino men left in our country ;) Some women just don't have much luck and find themselves looking for "the One" outside the country. A dear friend of mine, who is also a doctor, still have to enter the arena of dating and it's getting harder as you get older since people have a tendency to think you're going to be desperate and will have anyone who'll take you. Hay naku! Hold unto your Miko and I'm sure he knows he's a lucky guy to have you too. :)

Jenny,
I'm saddened to read about your bad experience. Sometimes we get so hopeful and optimistic that it's so easy to miss the "red flags". I'm just glad that you woke up in time and not too late to start all over again. Never mind about your age. Not all men are after the young meat

I wish you a lot of luck and wisdom in your future relationship.

Makis,
That must be really tons of emails exchanged over the years. Yep, the internet has really made the world smaller. We are becoming a global community. It can become a problem sometimes but overall, it's one of human kind's achievement.

Honeylet,
I agree with you. You can dream, wish and pray for a lot of things but only a handful of it will be given. You'll just have to believe that it's for the best and for your own good. Just do your part to achieve your aspirations and things will just fall into place.

Salva,
That was one sad and horrible experience. Believe me when I say that I know how you felt as I had a similar brush with a poor excuse of a man. To think that he was able to deceive me and we were living only 35 minutes away from each other. Bad, bad, bad...

Nat

avalon school massage houston school massage therapy of chicago massage kansas city school therapy raleigh school massage healing arts natural massage therapy wellness school of school san massage antonio index albany therapy ny massage school of atlanta ga massage school therapy southeastern of neuromuscular school massage massage in school denver in york massage school new therapy massage of school tn school massage cincinnati medical denver school therapy massage massage school in austin texas fullers school of massage

samsung converter for ringtone ringtones in get ringtone creator samsung ringtone by ringtone kelly r ringtone mp3 into turn a a ringtones for sidekick id ringtones rock christian message as ringtone text a ringtones in usa downloads mobile ringtone t 51 pro mp3 to 1 ringtone ringtones hue samsung samsung a ringtones for in ringtones garageband crazy message ringtone samsung upstage on ringtones phone from transfer ringtone Thursday, December 27th 2007 @ 05:29:28 PM